8 months

8 months ago today, a wall of darkness fell on our family, like nothing we've ever experienced. The aching grief that followed in the days and weeks that passed, was relentless on everyone. How we are all still standing is amazing to me. It's amazing to me to have watched our family come together in the most heart wrenching and challenging times. To love one another, to appreciate one another, and to be thankful for all that we still have. 5 months after losing you, baby girl, the darkest of clouds finally started to lift. The day we learned we were pregnant with your baby sibling. The day an ounce of hope returned to our lives. A ray of light finally broke through the darkness. Thank you for blessing us with this truly special gift, getting to carry and grow your baby sibling. With a great deal of faith and a lot of hope in our hearts, we so anxiously await their arrival. 

It's hard to believe you have been gone almost as long as you were here alive with us. How could that be? These milestones of what "should be" don't get any easier. The pain is still very present each and everyday, but it's especially raw on the 6th of each month. I know you would be a beautiful 8 month old baby. Probably laughing, trying to talk, and crawl. My heart cannot explain how much we miss you and how much we miss all the things we should be teaching you and watching you do. As you know, we pray every night that we get to have all the experiences with your sibling that we were cheated out of having with you.

I can say that losing you, baby Stella, has given us a much greater appreciation of this life than we ever could have imagined. Our family has never been closer. Our relationships with one another have never been stronger. Our love has never been so unconditional. It's weird and bittersweet, but your daddy and I are better together, than we could have ever been without losing you. We will be better, more patient, more understanding, more appreciative parents someday (God willing), thanks to you. Life is precious, life is fragile, and life is not to be taken for granted. You have taught us that, and for that, we are very thankful.

We love you, Stella St. Clair. More and more every single day. Though you cannot be here on earth with us, you are still with us. And you play such an important role in our lives. Thank you.